Cimbrean
Jennifer Delaney. Mid-twenties, space-babe Pirate Queen slash Colonial Governor, angrier than anybody might have been angry before in the history of time. Part of her was afraid she might have scared the absolute shit out of Darragh Houston, but the rest of her was too angry to give a shit.
Adrian Saunders was alive somewhere, and he was a big blue hairy man, and he had saved her life in a flurry of violence and hadn’t had the decency to stick around but he’d clearly been through a lot and maybe there was a reason and this line of thinking wasn’t helping her stay angry!
And the worst part? The others had clearly known! They had known and they had chosen not to tell her, or more accurately they had known and obeyed Adrian’s request that she not be told.
Even now, after all she’d done for them, they were still following Adrian.
That was the especially infuriating bit. It was like they just saw her as someone who was keeping the seat warm until Adrian got back. Oh they liked her well enough, but Jen had never done something completely psychotic that somehow managed to work!
No… all Jen had done was establish a well-oiled pirating company and a heavily defended fortress on a garden world. All Jen had done was come up with a series of innovations that let them hunt traders and Hunters alike. All Jen had done was move them from being a pack of useless yobs on the Zhadersil to a professional group of soldiers who were feared throughout Celzi space!
That was all Jen had done.
And there weren’t any fucking statues of her! Why did Adrian get two!?
She was angry. She was absolutely angry.
She was crying.
Jen wiped the palm of her hand across both cheeks to clear away the tears, but they kept coming. She wasn’t even sure why!
She sat on the edge of her bed and wept quietly, although her body trembled all over. At least she’d had the good sense to seal herself away in her own bedroom before this ridiculous rollercoaster of emotions had started; explaining the violent mood swings to her troops might have been quite the challenge.
She fell back onto her bed and hugged to her blankets, her mind casting back to that day on Irbzrk once more, and seeing it in a whole new light. Had he come to save her? How had he known what was happening? Why was he all blue and hairy?
Why had his eyes been so very sad?
Jennifer Delaney’s heart ached something terrible. She had just started to move past the fact that Adrian Saunders had died, murdered by Hunters in a bold last stand. In that light she had been able to frame it as an almost noble end, if you avoided thinking about all of the unpleasant little details. Now Adrian Saunders was alive, and that meant two things: first, that he’d beat the ever-loving shit out of the Hunters through yet another completely mad-as-all-fuck plan, and second, that he hadn’t seen fit to return to his friends after doing so.
What that meant she had no idea.
“What should I do?” she wondered aloud. Should she search for him or not? What if he didn’t want to be found? Worse, what if he didn’t want to be found by her? Why did she care? She was supposed to hate that stupid Australian psychopath!
She couldn’t handle not knowing, so she made her decision.
She opened up a communication link to Trycrur. “Trycrur… Trix, are you there?” she asked, her usual voice of authority gone.
“Are you alright, Jen?” Trycrur responded after only a brief moment. Her voice was full of real concern and regret. “We are so incredibly sorry… we just didn’t know how to tell you, so we didn’t…”
Jen steadied her breathing and swallowed her tears again. There would be time for her to discipline them later, when she had full control of herself again. “I want to know where he is, Trix. Can you try and see if-“
“He’s on Cavaras,” Trycrur replied immediately. “Or at least I think so. There were reports of a blue-hairy humanoid being at the scene of substantial violence and destruction so it just seemed really likely…”
“Cavaras?” Jen asked, raising herself from the bed. “Where’s that?”
“It’s part of the Dominion,” Trycrur replied. “It’s a core world of the Corti Directorate. I couldn’t tell you what he’s been doing there.”
“The Corti?” Jen asked. “He might be in serious trouble, then… I mean the hair suggests… something!”
“Perhaps we should talk to our own Corti about that,” Trycrur suggested. “Doctor Grznk may be able to tell you more.”
“Then I’ll have to talk to him,” Jen said. “And then, when we find out the details, I’m going to go and find Adrian and punch him right in his damned mouth!”
Darragh Houston sat in the medical room under armed guard, being administered by a deeply worried looking Corti doctor. Darragh wasn’t sure why the Corti was worried when Darragh was the one who was being treated as a prisoner; a fact that, had he known before arriving, may have deterred his adventure here altogether.
Now he was sitting on a hospital bed wearing very little in the way of clothing and feeling remarkably exposed to the eyes of everyone in the room, not least the Corti doctor who was just the right height to cop an eyeful of his gentleman parts.
“I’m going to ensure your health and wellbeing,” the Corti doctor had told him, being very careful not to make any sudden movements. “My name is Doctor Grznk and I am a spy for the Corti Directorate.”
Darragh blinked. “What? You’re admitting something like that?”
He looked around at his guards, who seemed remarkably non-plussed by the admission. This was not a normal situation, and yet they were treating it otherwise.
“Do not tell me any information that you do not want the Directorate to know about,” Grznk continued, although he seemed remarkably annoyed about it all. “And do not include me in any discussions you do not want disclosed to the Directorate!”
“Oh, so it’s some sort of warning,” Darragh replied, beginning to understand. It seemed like the Doctor had to report everything he knew, but he had decided to make this fact known, and in doing he became an ally of those he technically spied upon.
“Your blood pressure is normal,” Grznk continued. “Everything is as we’d expect it to be. You’ve been surviving on routine frontline treatments, however, and the scans show minor damage to your organs as a result.”
Both of Darragh’s eyebrows went up in alarm. “Wait, what was that?”
“I will suggest allocating one of our growing stockpile of longterm implants to you,” Grznk continued, unperturbed. “Otherwise I can allocate a supply of frontline treatments to you. It’s not as though it costs us anything, after all. That is one of the main benefits of stealing everything you have, I’m told.”
“I… guess it is,” Darragh agreed.
That was when the door opened and Jennifer Delaney strode in. There was less of the angry woman here now, thank God for that, and she looked like she had been crying. Darragh wasn’t entirely clear on why, but he had the feeling that there must have been something going on between Jennifer Delaney and Adrian Saunders before it ended badly, and that Darragh had stupidly added some upsetting information into the mix.
She glanced at him, and then turned her attention to Grznk. Darragh felt the burn of instant dismissal and the gratitude of not being the target of the crazy bitch’s attention for the time being. At most he’d just stay quiet and pretend to not be there if she started shouting at the Corti doctor.
“Doctor Grizzles,” she said as she approached, and Darragh had to suppress a fit of laughter, and when he failed to do so entirely was forced to disguise it as a coughing fit.
“Organ damage,” he said by way of excuse when Grznk turned a cool stare his way.
The Corti sighed. “Miss Jennifer,” he said, “how may I be of service?”
“I want to know how a human male might be covered in blue hair by Corti science,” Jennifer said. “And for what reason?”
Grznk paused for a moment. “That is an unusual request. May I assume you’re talking about the blue-haired creature that saved your life on Irbzrk?”
“You’re talking about Adrian?” Darragh interjected.
Both Jennifer and Grznk then turned to him, staring at him as though he were a complete idiot. Grznk actually closed his eyes briefly in frustration, and looked like he was in almost physical pain.
“Adrian Saunders was the blue-haired biped?” he asked. “No, don’t confirm it again…”
Grznk sighed deeply. “Please don’t reveal any more surprising details I don’t need to know about.”
“Perhaps you should just not say anything?” Jennifer suggested somewhat unkindly. “And close your legs?”
Darragh hurriedly did so, and proceeded to stare at his lap shamefacedly.
“I know how that would be accomplished in Adrian Saunders,” Grznk said, “although given his unique biochemistry-“
“Sorry, what?” Jennifer asked. “Unique biochemistry? This is the first I’ve been hearing about that!”
Grznk sighed, it seemed he had become quite proficient at that particular expression. “I suppose I can’t just ask you to forget about that? I had thought you knew!”
“Explain it now,” Jennifer told him.
“Adrian Saunders was exposed to a chemical that altered his biochemistry,” Grznk said reluctantly. “That is why he is a physically perfect human specimen and for all intents and purposes biologically immortal.”
“The man’s immortal!?” Darragh asked, forgetting himself in his surprise. He quietened again when he received another look.
“Immortal!?” Jennifer repeated the question. She seemed remarkably pissed off by having learned this particular part, although Darragh was starting to wonder more about the ‘physically perfect’ part.
“As I said,” Grznk replied, “his biochemistry was altered. You wouldn’t be able to do skin grafts on him, his body would destroy the grafts within minutes. You’d have to alter his body further to grow it naturally.”
“Why would anyone want to do that?” Jennifer asked. “Unless they just wanted to make him look non-human?”
“That is the most reasonable explanation I can think of,” Grznk replied, “especially in light of the Great Hunt.”
“So he’s in a really good disguise,” Jennifer said. “But perhaps not so good that I can’t find him.”
Date Point 3 Years 3 Weeks After Vancouver
Council Hall on Cavaras, Corti Directorate Core World
“You’ll be happy to know that your old flame is coming to find you,” Hrbrd told Adrian, relishing the look of pure confusion on the human’s face. It was hard to achieve that look, but it was worth it, and it took the edge off the blinding white rage he had felt about Jennifer Delaney coming to Cavaras to search for Adrian Saunders. That was not a meeting he wanted to happen, but it now seemed inevitable.
He reflected for a moment upon the fact that so many outsiders thought his species emotionless. That wasn’t entirely untrue – it took a lot to move a Corti to emotion involuntarily – but they had the ability to detach themselves from their emotions and work without their interference, and doing so all of time was the line of thinking that was instilled into young Corti. Hrbrd himself preferred to allow himself to feel them in situations like this, having come to learn what the rush of satisfaction could feel like.
“Who?” Adrian asked, a few moments after the announcement. He was clearly worried, but the look of confusion remained to confirm his ignorance as to the identity of this person.
Hrbrd frowned, it wasn’t as entertaining when the human didn’t even know what was even being talked about. “Jennifer Delaney.”
“Oh thank God,” Adrian said with a greatly relieved sigh. “I thought you meant my wife for a moment there. Fuck, I nearly had a heart attack.”
“I had no idea you were married,” Hrbrd replied flatly, detaching his emotions again before the disappointment set in. “It is exceedingly difficult to imagine you in a state of wedded bliss.”
Adrian grunted. “I think she thought the same thing, and that’s why she fucked my mate. We were separated when you fuckers abducted me, and I’m happy to keep it that way from now until the end of fucking time.”
“So, Jennifer Delaney?” Hrbrd said. “Anything you’d like to say?”
“I don’t think it’d be a good idea if we ran into each other,” Adrian replied, and had the decency to look deeply discomforted by the idea. “How did she find me?”
“A statue,” Hrbrd said darkly. “On Irbzrk.”
“Fucksake,” Adrian cursed. “I fucking told them not to do that…”
“Well, it hardly matters,” Hrbrd said. “You’ve managed to achieve superb results. Within the week the news networks will be picking up on the ‘stories’ you’ve been sowing in your own special way. The whole Directorate – and even some of the Dominion – is talking about what’s been happening here. They are talking about the violence, and soon they will be talking about the corporates making savage war on each other in our streets. The people will demand justice and laws to restrain corporate actions.”
“So you’re getting what you want?” Adrian replied.
Hrbrd frowned. “Not simply what I want, but what the Directorate needs. For too long it has misdirected its efforts into prolonging a war with the Celzi. Now with your help we will be able to draw it to a satisfying conclusion, without corporate interference.”
“Congratulations to us, then” Adrian said. “Does this mean that I can finally go back to looking how I used to?”
“I don’t see that I have any choice,” Hrbrd replied. “The blue-haired biped needs to disappear, and you need to stop Jennifer Delaney from helping people make the connection between it and yourself.”
“How the fuck am I supposed to do that?”
“I would suggest simply contacting her and telling her not to,” Hrbrd said, “but if you feel the need for something more elaborate I won’t stop you. Simply do not provide the public with more ‘blue-haired biped’ news to talk about. I want them focused on the ‘corporate war’ story you’ve drummed up.”
“And what happens after that?” Adrian asked. “Now that this corporate issue has been taken care of?”
“If you’re asking what is intended for you and your little team,” Hrbrd replied, “then that is up to you. I will certainly be unable to use any of you for some time as I will need to maintain my distance from you, but I will still find it deeply unsettling should you start taking work from my opponents instead.”
“Fuck, that makes my life hard, doesn’t it?” Adrian asked with a grimace. “We won’t be able to stay around here if we can’t work.”
“Unfortunately not, but I do understand a certain pirate crew is always hiring,” Hrbrd suggested. “Perhaps you could find employment there?”
“You’re really set on me talking to her, aren’t you?” Adrian observed. “But it doesn’t seem like I have much of a fucking choice.”
“It doesn’t seem like you have much of a choice at all,” Hrbrd agreed.
+++++
Adrian returned to his team after his talk with Hrbrd and then another discussion with the doctor who’d done his original grafting. It wouldn’t take very long to reverse the procedure they’d put in place – it took less time to remove hair than to grow it – but he’d probably be stuck with blue hair until his natural brown returned.
He figured he’d just shave it all, because he’d look one hell of a lot less fucking stupid that way.
“What did he say?” Askit asked as Adrian returned. He must have seen Adrian’s grim expression shortly thereafter because he followed it with: “That bad?”
“Not for you,” Adrian replied, “everything will be fine for you, but we won’t be able to stay on this planet. Hrbrd hasn’t got any more work for us besides getting the fuck out of here.”
“So the bad news is all yours?” Askit asked with relief. “That I can live with.”
“Remind me why I don’t strangle you in your fucking sleep?” Adrian asked.
“You enjoy losing at chess,” Askit replied. “And who else is going to record your rampages for you?”
Adrian sighed. “Somebody I don’t want to meet is coming to meet me,” he said. “I don’t see much of a way I can get out of it.”
“You could try running away,” Askit suggested. “That’s what you normally do when you want to get out of something.”
“Fucking thank you,” Adrian replied sarcastically. “I can’t run away, she’ll start undoing our work without even knowing it if I just run.”
“We could take her out?” Gdugnir suggested. “Double plasma blast to the upper torso! Pop pop!”
“I don’t want to kill her!” Adrian said in horror.
“To be fair, it’s hard to tell with you sometimes,” Askit interjected. “But look, why not just combine this ‘concrete’ and ‘wheatbix’ you’re always going on about, and maybe that will resolve the issue?”
Adrian glared at the Corti. The smug little fucker knew exactly what that expression meant, and was just feigning ignorance to make his point.
“What do we do though?” Gdugnir asked. “Once you’re done with the concrete and wheatbix?”
“I… don’t know, Gdugnir,” Adrian said. “That’s up to you. We can stay together or we can go our own ways, but I know that I don’t have a job for you and Margarita will be wanting her gear back.”
“We can always make our own work,” Askit said. “Have you seen how good we are?”
“You want to become a criminal again?” Adrian asked. “I thought your record was going to be wiped?”
“Yeah, but that would require going back to be an unthinking drone, and I find I enjoy my work here, as well as the many benefits that would come from using our skills for personal gain,” Askit explained.
“You have given me my revenge,” Gdugnir replied. “I will gladly lend my skills to whatever work you do.”
“Huh,” Adrian said, thoughtfully. “I guess that means we’re going freelance.”
“Good,” Askit replied. “Now what happens first?”
“First,” Adrian said with a grimace, “I need to have one big fucking shave.”
He hoped his skin didn’t itch too badly afterwards.