He awoke to a pleasant smell. “…Eggs?”
Hoeff detangled himself from Natalie and the sheets and stumbled towards the kitchen. Daar was busy in front of the comparatively little stove and fridge, humming some terrible Gaoian tune to himself. Seriously, their music was like Chinese opera with extra pain. Some Humans liked it, though…but “atonal” to Chimp meant “hipster bullshit with bad sound.”
Whatever. The food smelled good, at least.
“Chimp! Sit down, I’m almost done.” Walsh stumbled out of his room as well and sat down at the table without ceremony. “Boss should be…”
And right on cue, Coombes stumbled out, too. Daar returned his attention to the massive pile of food he was preparing. “Boss, can you set the table? Seven places, please.”
“Hnn…sure.” Coombes yawned, and everyone succumbed. He stumbled to the cabinet to get plates and cups.
“I made coffee, Tiny. Could you?” Daar was too busy wrangling bacon. All of the bacon, by the sound and smell. In short order, coffee was poured, the table was set for everyone, and Daar marched over and scooped…
“Uh…bud, what’s this?”
“Simmered Kwek roe! Trust me, you’ll like it.”
The three men looked at each other, shrugged, and Tiny tried it. He paused, and then began furiously shoveling it into his face. Daar chittered and dumped a mountain of bacon in the middle of the table for everyone to grab from.
“Toldja. Save some for the ladies, though. I don’t have any more.”
Hoeff thought the Kwek roe tasted a lot like the fluffiest scrambled eggs ever! And eggs needed ketchup. He stood up to get some and Daar looked at him curiously, “Is that any good?”
“It is on chicken eggs.” Hoeff tried it. Delicious. The bottle was passed around, Daar sat to eat, and he tried it too.
“Hmm, not bad! Anyways, It smells like y’all got lucky last night…”
“Tiggs, hasn’t anyone ever told you how creepy that is?”
“Yup! It’s fun though, you Humans are easy to weird out.” He chittered happily to himself and messily devoured his roe, along with his enormous bacon allotment.
“Kinda surprised you’re here though,” commented Hoeff. “Wouldn’t you be at the Enclave?”
“No, why?”
“…Myun? Didn’t you two hit it off?”
“What? No! She’s my cub, bro. We just tussled for a bit. And I showed her lotsa Stoneback katas, too!”
Hoeff short-circuited.
“Wait. WAIT. Myun is your cub.”
“Yup! Isn’t she awesome!? Look at her!”
“That explains everything,” commented Walsh.
“Damn straight!” Daar didn’t seem the least bit offended.
Hoeff, meanwhile: “…But, weren’t you…I mean…”
“Oh! Well I didn’t know she was mine right away. You humans stunk the apartment up so bad we couldn’t smell it, and then we got outside and we were too busy chasing, and this and that happened…”
“…” Hoeff needed more coffee.
“Wait. So how do you know for sure, though?” Walsh suppressed a grin.
“Dude, there’s an app for that. Also you really can smell it, y’know?”
“None of us have kids so I guess we’ll find out later.”
“Heh, fair ‘nuff.”
Hoeff, meanwhile, still couldn’t wrap his head around the news. He decided it was best to simply eat his breakfast in peace.
Which he didn’t get. Everyone’s phones went off at the same time. In military circles that was always an ominous sign.
Coombes looked down at his phone and sighed. “Well. That was fun. Looks like we’re being recalled. Go break the news to your girls. Tiggs, can you…”
Daar was the best sometimes. Without even asking he hunted in the fridge to get the milk and eggs and found a big mixing bowl, too. He cracked some eggs and got to stirring. “Sure thing Boss. Gimme me like ten minutes.”
“Goddamn, I’ve got the best fuckin’ team.” Daar duck-nodded happily. After all, if you’re gonna do a one-night stand, the least you could do is make some pancakes.
Mother Niral
Her communicator went off. She looked at it bleary-eyed, woke up instantly, and padded to the door. She opened it and noticed breakfast was already prepared.
“Regaari’s noisebox went off, too. He already left but sends his regards.” Warhorse set a plate down. “Wanna eat before you go?”
Niral rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “Yes, thank you. Do you have any tea?”
“Green or breakfast?”
“Green, thank you. Breakfast tea is a bit too much.”
Warhorse busied himself and prepared a cup along with a plate of breakfast. It smelled very good and she tucked in while he bustled about the kitchen. Hina awoke shortly thereafter and pounced on the massive Human, but he was prepared and caught her one-handed and quickly rolled her up onto one of those massive shoulders. Niral had no idea how he’d managed that movement, and neither did Hina, but she delighted in the attention anyway.
Mercifully the broccoli costume was nowhere to be found. “Eat breakfast quickly, Hina. I’m being called away.”
“Yes, mother.” Warhorse plopped her down on a stool and set a plate down in front of her as well. Finally he joined them, his own plate covered in a truly vast quantity of food.
“I still marvel at how much your kind can eat.”
“Have you seen your own males? Get ‘em good and tired and they can eat, too. You should see Daar, he eats almost as big as I do! Regaari can pack it away these days, too.” He grinned, then started shoveling his food with gusto.
“I suppose. Where’s the other two?”
Warhorse swallowed and drank a big gulp of milk. “Righteous does prayer in the early morning but right now he’s downstairs workin’ out with Baseball. I’mma join ‘em once you two are on your way…”
Hint well taken. “I must be going anyway.” He nodded, and the three finished their breakfasts in quick order.
Warhorse made to pick up the dishes. Niral asked, “May I help?”
“Nah, I’ve got a dishwasher. Best we all get going.”
“Well…thank you for your hospitality.”
“De nada. You’re welcome anytime.” He busied himself with dishes and wore his charming smile. Niral said one last goodbye and walked Hina back to the Enclave.
The broccoli costume stayed behind.
Later that morning
Briefing room, HMS Sharman, Folctha, Cimbrean, the Far Reaches
Major Owen (Stainless) Powell
“Pack it in, Lads. I’ll keep it short and brief.”
Walsh, Coombes, Hoeff, and Daar were all gathered, awake, alert, and in Daar’s case still a bit damp from a recent bath. All the coloring came out as promised. Joining them were Meereo, Regaari, and Niral, and all three were fresh from a briefing by the growing intelligence section on-base.
“I’ll let our analysts lead on this. Meereo?”
Anubis himself stepped forward with his ears up and alert. “A source with first-hand knowledge of Hierarchy affairs has become available to us and wishes to provide a comprehensive overview of our enemy and the situation. To forestall any questions, the source is a digital sapient. Further details are classified beyond our need to know. In any case, the source will rendezvous with our agents—your team, Master Sergeant Coombes—and has requested we provide it with a high capacity storage device.”
“How will this meeting take place?”
“We are uncertain. The contact was very short and two-way communication with the source is effectively impossible, so we’re including a very high-capacity tablet with your mission.” Meereo gestured towards the table, “It’s got a WiFi radio on-board that will passively listen but will not transmit unless reconfigured to do so.”
“When you meet the source,” added Niral, “Bear in mind this particular entity is…possibly a bit unstable. I believe the word is ‘kid gloves?’”
“Awesome, a flighty computer program,” grumbled Walsh.
“One critical to our efforts,” reminded Regaari. “We are in an extreme information deficit and frankly, we need all the help we can get.”
“What’s this thing gonna look like? Living? Some creepy biodrone? A big stompy robot?” Daar’s comments earned a quiet little chitter from Niral.
“Unknown, Brother. I wish we had more. All we do know is you are to approach the central array you’ve already mapped out. But do not approach too closely; the sensor net you left behind has detected an increase in patrols. They may be aware of us, or at least suspect something. The net itself has not detected any intrusion or tampering but that may not mean anything. Assume the worst.”
“Awesome.” Coombes rubbed his face. “Insertion is gonna take forever.”
“Aye, you’ll be packing heavy for this one. Good thing you’ve been hittin’ the gym bloody hard, eh?” Powell looked at Walsh and Daar, who both shrugged.
“I ain’t called Stoneback ‘fer nothin’ Big Boss.” He grumbled happily, “We’ll git ‘er done, me and Tiny always do.” He rubbed his head against Walsh’s arm, who scritched affectionately in return. Co-pets was perhaps the only way to describe their odd interspecies bromance.
“Right. We’ve already pulled together most of your load and laid it out for your inspection. The techs computed your calorie needs though Daar and Walsh will probably need to adjust. You two need a lot of food these days…”
“It’s been on our mind, sir.” Walsh spoke up. “Luckily, slow and steady has kept us under the point of diminishing returns. But yeah. I’m about at my size limit anyway and Daar’s been slowing down, so really our big concern is fine-tuning and gettin’ this down to a science. For example, we figured out that dressing a little warmer should cut my calorie needs down just enough to fit another three days on the same loadout we’ve been using. So for now, I think we’re fine.”
“That much?”
“Yessir. When we’re creepin’ along all quiet we don’t burn too much energy, but makin’ body heat don’t ever stop. Daar’s got an advantage there with his pelt.”
“Finally long enough to be waterproof!” Daar seemed very pleased.
“But if you get active?”
“Then we burn calories awful fast, sir. We ain’t nothin’ like HEAT but any unit in active combat motors through pretty bad. That’s true of all of us, even Chimp.”
Hoeff rolled his eyes but held his peace. He was the quiet one of the team.
“Aye. Just wanted to hear you voice it.” Powell nodded approvingly. “Any questions for our intel team, Master Sergeant?”
Coombes considered the mission. “None at this time. I probably will later…”
“The team shall remain at your disposal. Anything else?” A quick glance around the room showed no further questions. “Dismissed.”
Champion and Stud-Prime Daar (Tigger) of Clan Stoneback
The prep went quick, ‘cuz the techs were really good at their jobs! The pack was extra heavy but Daar could handle it, and that was why he was on the team. Well, that and his nose and ears and teeth and claws and stuff. He sure wasn’t there for his brains! Not that he was stupid, not at all. Stupid people don’t know how to compute nitrogen ratios for fertilizer! Or make shape charges. Those were the best! But Boss Coombes and Bestest Friend were the really smart ones on the team and if there were anything Cousin Regaari ever taught Daar, it was to pay attention to the thinkers.
Daar paid very close attention. But even still, even being pretty smart himself, he wasn’t expecting Niral to show up all sudden-like. “Champion! A moment!”
Daar always had time for a female, even if they hated him for some reason like Niral did sorta. He tidied up his pack and walked over to her. “Yes?”
She paused, kinda unsure of herself, then hugged! “Be careful.”
Sometimes the Universe could surprise anyone. “…Okay?” He returned the hug very gently, then sat on his haunches to get closer to eye level. “If I’m bein’ honest I never expected a sendoff from you.”
“I maybe never expected to give one. But…I’ve been very unfair to you over the last few years. Being on this intel team made it clear how dangerous your role is and how much you’re sacrificing…so why? Why do you do it?”
Daar was genuinely perplexed. “Um…? It’s a Job. Doing Jobs is what I do.”
“You are Champion and Stud-Prime of the most prestigious and ancient Clan! You yourself are a singular accomplishment of your Clan’s efforts. Why do you risk it all when you could simply return to Gao and lead the coming Army?”
Daar thought about it for a moment. She asked a Big Question and Daar always took Big Questions very seriously. “Well,” he pondered, then an idea struck. He gestured at his team, “Why do they? My team, I mean. Why do they do it?”
“…Champion, you are not them. They don’t have as much to lose.”
“We all die just the same, Niral.”
“…”
Daar affected a human sigh. “Okay. Lemme put it this way. What am I?”
“You are Champion!”
“Yup. Champion of what?”
“Of Clan Stoneback,” she said with a note of exasperation.
Daar nodded patiently. “Yup! What does that mean?”
Niral figured out where he was going. “You embody something. But what are you embodying by this? You are endangering your Clan’s genetic program—”
“I recently sired my three hundredth cub, Niral.” He said it with an amused basso chitter. “Somehow I think my legacy is safe.”
“…wow. Okay, but the question stands.”
Daar duck-nodded agreeably. “Okay, that’s fair. Lemme let you in on a secret. Do you know what my Clan’s motto is?”
“No. Nobody does.”
“Yup! It’s secret, but not for some big conspiracy reason like some of the sillier males post about on the Infosphere. It’s secret ‘cuz unless you really think about it, what the words mean? It ain’t gonna help you none. And, uh…” Daar pant-grinned lazily, “Not all of my brothers are the smartest, let’s be honest. Sometimes we gotta beat their skulls with rocks to get anything t’work!”
Niral chittered happily. “Stonebacks have that reputation!”
“Heh. But here, I’ll tell you ‘cuz I’m Champion and in my Clan, the Champion makes the rules.” Daar looked around conspiratorially. “Protect and Provide. That’s it. Now lemme ask you: what am I protecting, and what am I providing?”
Niral considered it thoughtfully for a long moment. “That motto implies a great deal about your Clan’s wisdom I had, well…”
Daar nodded. “I know, most people do. That’s okay though, it serves our ends. Our mission is really the same as the Females; we exist to preserve and better the Gao. No other male Clan can really claim that Rite, ‘least not like we can.”
Niral pondered that thoughtfully. “The stories paint your Clan much more…”
“Violently?”
“…Yeah.”
Daar chittered darkly. “Yup, and they’re right. We only play at being nice. Didja think we’d stumbled into this harmless overmacho persona by accident? Or maybe how things would work out if every other Clan knew us for the murderous, rage-filled, untamed predators we actually are? And how would we control ourselves? Did ‘ya consider how that happy, simple male we try to be is maybe how we cope?” He got quieter, almost whispered, “Did ‘ya read the report about the bear-snake? And see the pics of me afterward?”
“…Yes.” She began to understand. That made Daar a little sad.
“That’s what I really am, Niral. For a tick I was so lost in it I couldn’t even recognize my Bestest Friend. When I came back to it…well, what I remember is there was suddenly brain in my mouth, and everything smelled bad, and…”
He stopped. Niral had heard enough.
“…Sorry. But I think you need to know this ‘cuz you’re a really smart Female and you’ve got the smell of leadership all over you. But back to my point. What am I? I am an animal that can talk, Niral. All of us are. The Mother-Supreme and your senior leadership put up with us ‘cuz they know we’re maybe the only thing standing ‘tween your Clan and the rest of the males, ‘cuz the greatest thing we ever did was when we convinced the rest of the Gao to civilize or DIE. And I’ll tell you right now…some of the Clans didn’t forget what we did. We keep our Fangs around so those Clans don’t get any ideas. That’s why we don’t tell NOBODY how many there are or where they’re stationed.”
“…Great Mother.”
“Yup. Now, me specifically: what am I doing? Well, here’s the thing. The enemy we’re facing? They’re eventually gonna figger all this out. They’ve already got agents inside the Females and I know they’re slowly learnin’ all the old stories. They’ve got agents in Highmountain, too. Well, had.” Daar chittered darkly. “When they do figger it all out, what are they gonna do first?”
“Drive a wedge between Stoneback and the Females.”
“Yup. And then, once they do that, they’ll trigger a civil war. Stoneback ain’t big enough to kill ‘em all, not anymore. Highmountain has all our nuclear weapons, and I bet Hierarchy ain’t happy they lost that particular lever. So what’s gonna be the likely outcome? If you were Hierarchy, how would you destroy us?”
She gave Daar a look of newfound respect, and a little bit of fear. “They’d set the males loose on us. It’d be back to the old ways.”
“Worse. Much, much worse. Because this time, there won’t be a Fyu or Tiritya, and now we’ll have pulse weapons, explosives, and all sorts of goodies to make mischief with. Our species wouldn’t survive a generation.”
“You believe you are saving the Gaoian race.”
“Tryin’ to. This little JETS team is so Father-damned important, Niral. This right here is the one and only shot we have to get the intel we need to kill this enemy. Talk to Genshi, you’re in elite circles these days and he’ll give you time. Learn everything from him. Same with Meereo, he’s so smart. Me? I’m sorta stuck on the immediate threat, y’know? Those two are ‘big picture’ guys.”
“Given this conversation, I think you’re drastically underselling yourself.”
Daar couldn’t help it; he shrank a bit from the compliment. “…Nah. I’m as brownie as they come, Niral. Look up my pedigree, I am pure Stoneback as far as we can trace. I’m smart—any good Stoneback is—but I just don’t see the world like silverfurs do. Civilization exists ‘cuz of them, and it keeps going ‘cuz of brownies like me. It’s a fair trade.”
She thought about that for a while. Daar waited patiently.
“So you’re protecting an intelligence opportunity.”
“Yeah. I didn’t figger it out right away but I had th’ instinct t’jump in and I always listen to it. It ain’t ever steered me wrong, not ever.”
“So what are you providing?”
Daar chittered smugly and flexed his massive, ridiculous arm. “Ain’t it obvious? I’m stronger than any Human alive outside the SOR and it was the Humans who showed me what I needed to get this big in the first place. I’ve got a big back and a big pack, and the best nose and sharp claws.” Daar chittered to himself. That sounded funny! “Anyway, what I’m providing is a strong back and tools the Humans don’t have. They do the same thing for me. I’m faster and stronger, they’re smarter and tougher. We move totally differently and think about things different, too. Make sense?”
“I’ll grant all that. But why not someone else? You could delegate.”
“I can’t, ’cuz I’m the best there is and we can’t let this fail.”
Niral gave a pained look. “That’s awfully full of yourself, Champion.”
Dara shrugged hugely. “It’s also true, and you gotta be honest with ‘yerself in this game if ‘yer gonna play. And anyway…it’s good to leave guys like Tyal in charge while I’m gone. He’ll ‘prolly be the next Stud-Prime and maybe the next Champion, Brother’s got good genes and good sense. And I’m gettin’ old. I’m forty-seven, Niral. I’ve got ten, maybe twenty years left unless I get really lucky. Who knows, maybe I will, but we Stonebacks tend to die young. So…before I grow old and start fallin’ apart, maybe I can do this.”
Niral looked at Daar. Really looked at him. “Champion? I apologize. I have gravely underestimated you.”
“Nah,” Daar again shrunk in on himself. “I’m not smart enough to figger this out all on my own. But I am smart enough to listen to the big brains like Regaari and Genshi and Meereo and Stainless and all the rest. But…thanks.”
Niral hugged Daar again. This time it felt…different. “Daar?”
“Yes?”
“…Come back.”
He swallowed. “…Yes, ma’am.”
She broke the hug, turned tail, and left.
Tiny came over having spotted the conversation from afar. “Sup, bro?” He laughed all macho, “You’re not scoring a contract…wait, what’s wrong?”
Bestest Friend was really smart. He noticed everything. “Nothin’ really. Jus’ had a kinda dark little talk, that’s all.”
“What about?”
Daar sighed. “The future.” He paused and sniffed at Tiny a bit. He smelled concerned. “Don’t worry, I’m fine. Let’s go finish packin’ okay?”
“Okay bud.” Tiny put his arm around Daar’s neck. Bestest Friend always knew just what to do. “Let’s get ready.”
They spent the rest of the evening packing, and the next morning, they left for Messier 24.