The trees swayed back and forth, branches whipping around at the whims of the blowing wind. The leaves, turned red, purple, and orange for the season, brushed against each other, creating a calming rustling noise. I gripped my rifle tight, my head on a swivel, thankful that my eyes, set to either side of my head and front and back, could move independent of one another. This gave me a distinct advantage when it came to hunting. I couldn’t imagine hunting with two forward facing eyes, unable to move separately. With my four independent eyes, almost nothing escaped my sight.
A fhung appeared to my right, bounding in its graceful way, antler curved high above its head. I ignored it. Normally, I would have rejoiced at the sight of one the size of that, it could have fed my family for a week, but I was hunting different prey. I wished to become the Chief of the Hunt and a simple fhung would do nothing to impress the Elders. No, what I hunted was a Loardphuzi. Incredibly hard to kill, to bring down a Loardphuzi was the mark of a true hunter.
A great lizard, armored from head to toe with rock hard scales, four massive legs, a whip-like tail, and two leathery protrusions running parallel down its back, the Loardphuzi was an impressive beast. Its meat was inedible, but the skin was very valuable, used in the making of War -Cloth, and the bones were ground into a powder used to cure infertility. I knew it worked too, because my parents use it to conceive me. I had the power of the Loardphuzi in me and I could not fail. The hunt had always come easy to me, ever since my tenth nameday, when I was presented my first rifle.
A branch cracked to my left and I froze, lifting my rifle, lining up the sight. Whatever had made that noise was heavy, and the only thing heavy in these woods was the Loardphuzi. Slowly, carefully, I lifted my foot and gingerly placed it down in front of me, so as not to disturb the foliage and startle the Loardphuzi. I walked in this fashion until I had reached the edge of a nieh tree, the widest tree around. I pressed myself against it and cautiously moved my head to the side, getting a better look.
“These damn bugs are getting really annoying.”
A loud voice shattered the peaceful calm of the forest. It was strangely accented Galactic Common, but I could understand it. I sighed in frustration. If the Loardphuzi had been around, it was long gone now, scared off by the owner of that obnoxious voice. I rounded the tree, ready to tell off whoever had interrupted my hunt. I found myself staring at a wall of red and brown.
My front two eyes, startled into focusing on the same thing at once, traveled up the being in front of me, starting from the boots. Dark brown leathery-looking boots were filled with feet that had to have been three times the size of mine, if not four. Above those, dark blue pants that hugged the legs, legs wider than both of mine combined, of this great being continued up to the bottom of my chest. My eyes were level with a deep red shirt that was hanging loosely on a torso that was thicker than most trees. Over the red shirt, a brown coat that hung to the knees waved softly in the wind. The arms sticking out of the torso would have been comical in their size if they didn’t look like they could have lifted my house.
On shoulders nearly wider than my rifle was long, sat a head of giant proportions. On the top, grew black hair, long enough to reach the shoulders. This being had a very angular face, all planes and lines. Two green eyes blazed fiercely out of deep eye sockets, staring straight ahead. Normally, forward-facing eyes look funny to me, but on this being they seemed right. A nose pushed out from the being’s face, starting from between the eyes and sloping gently downward. Underneath the nose was a wide mouth, that I could see was full of bony white protrusions that I assumed were teeth.
I had never seen anything like it before. Being a hunter, I was much more worldly than most of my tribe, as I went to the port to trade for goods with skins and meat, but I had not seen this being’s species before. I would have remembered, if only because of the size. I realized with a start I had been staring for a long time and cleared my throat.
“What, mhphm, are you doing out here? This is a hunting forest, only hunters are allowed,” I demanded of the being.
“We’re looking for someone,” came a second voice to my rear. My left rear eye had already focused on the being who said this and I was not surprised when it spoke, as a two eyed being would have been. This being was smaller than the first, closer to my height, but still taller by several inches. Covered in thick red brown fur from head to toe, this being was a clearly a member of the race of the Jahen. A filthy race, they survived on theft and trickery. I had been cheated out by more than one and now I refused to trade with them. I would keep an eye on this one until it had left my sight.
“And who do you expect to find, way out here in the Wilds of Iwas?” I asked the jahen, perhaps a little forcefully, but the sight of a jahen always made me angry.
“A weakling and a coward,” boomed the giant in his loud voice.
“Then he will not survive long in the wilds,” I replied. “These lands are harsh and demanding.”
The giant laughed, a sound that sounded very odd coming from him. I looked at him, my front right eye spinning in annoyance.
“And why do you laugh?” I asked. His laughter was resounding and it would carry throughout the forest scaring game for miles.
“Because this is a pleasant little garden you have here,” the giant rumbled. “Back home we had forests that would chew you up and spit out the bones. This place you could let a babe run free and he’d be fine. Dangerous.” He chuckled and shook his head.
I puffed out my chest with indignation. I had lost friends in these woods. One of my eyes absently followed the flight path of a small insect, buzzing lazily through the air. The jahen had a resigned look on his face, as if he had had to deal with this before. The giant tilted his head slightly.
“I seem to have offended you. My apologizes,” said the being. “Let us start over. My name is Clint Stone and this is Tedix Jaku.” He gestured at the jahen. He looked expectantly at me.
“Gem Muffleni,” I grunted. This Clint was loud and he was scaring off all of the game. I needed to be rid of him as soon as possible and return to my hunt. There were only seven days until full moons and I needed to bring the Loardphuzi back before then.
“I do not wish to be rude, but I must be going,” I said abruptly, walking past the jahen. I would go to the fens, the Loardphuzi were known to use those as hunting grounds. That was why everyone avoided them.
My right rear eye saw Clint open his mouth to say something but the jahen put a paw on his arm and dragged him off. They faded into the distance as I trekked deeper into the woods. Good, I thought to myself, they shouldn’t be anymore trouble.
I hunted for the Loardphuzi for the rest of the day, steadily making my way closer to the fens, but I found no trace of one of the great lizard. This was strange, because when one is out hunting, it is almost impossible not to stumble upon signs of the great beast. The discovery was often accompanied by a hasty retreat in the opposite direction, but the tracks could be found almost everywhere.
The sun threatened to dip below the horizon and I sought rest. A hollow nieh tree provided a sheltered resting area and I dragged myself inside. I chewed on a stick of jerky from my pack, washed it down with a mouthful of water, and was soon cradled in the warm calm of sleep.
My rest was free of dreams, a rarity these days, and I awoke to the light of the sun, shining in through a puncture in the side of the tree. My limbs were sore from the night in the tree and as I pulled myself out of the tree, I stretched, reaching as far as I could. I blink and saw a rifle pointed at my head.
“Hey! You, bug face. Get out here, hands above head.” The speaker was a member of the Uiane race, his smooth blue face disturbed only by a slight pocket in the center, from which stared his single red eye. I shuddered. I couldn’t image life with two eyes, what would it be like with only one? You would have to be practically blind. If I remembered my Uiane anatomy correctly, which I did, the voice was produced by vibrating skin pouches on the side of the neck. As I looked closely with my front left eye, I could see bulges protruding from the neck, a paler shade of blue than the face.
“Ey, get moving, all day haven’t.” The pouches quivered on the Uiane’s neck. His Galactic Basic left a lot to be desired. “Bring pack and rifle.”
I handed over my pack and rifle, my heart sinking. I was being robbed of everything I owned. This would not have bothered me, except for the rifle. The rifle was my livelihood. With it I fed my family and earned enough to provide for clothes and the technology that my offspring always seemed to want. Without my rifle, I could not regain what I had lost and I would not be able to finish the hunt. The shame would be almost too much to bear. I could already hear what the tribe would say, that the wannabe Chief of the Hunt, returns without a single catch.
The Uiane grabbed them roughly, slinging them over his back. He prodded me with his rifle.
“Go. Walk.”
I walked forward, my feet shuffling on the ground, my head hung low. The Uiane drove me deeper into the woods. At first, I had thought that he was going to kill me at any minute, but the farther we walked, the less likely that seemed. He had something else in mind. My right rear eye caught a flash of motion behind us, but I couldn’t see what it was.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked my captor. The sun had passed its peak and we had been walking the whole time through the thick underbrush, branches and vines tugging at my clothes. The humidity had steadily risen as we walked and I was soaked in sweat. I was tired, embarrassed, and thirsty. I wanted some answers.
“Place,” came the curt reply.
“What place?”
“Bad place.” As the Uiane had no mouth I couldn’t see him smile, but the tone of the voice was right for a smile. I glanced around us and I realized that we were heading for the fens. Sure enough, as we crested a hill, I could see them spread out for miles. A deceptively flat plain full of grasses, mosses, ferns, and other assorted foliage, the fens were a treacherous place if you didn’t know your way around. Under the grasses and ferns was a thick layer of mud and rotting plant life. Saturated by an underground river, it became very soft and a misplaced step could send you to a watery grave.
The Loardphuzi had made this place theirs. They could hunt in peace here and their wide bodies could glide over the watery ground with ease. To the east, across the fens were mountains where the Loardphuzi made their dens, carving them out of the solid stone. No one from my tribe had ever been there, nor anyone I had ever heard of. The path through the fens was too dangerous and only the Loardphuzi were to be found in the mountains, terrible jaws waiting for anyone foolish enough to wander near.
I did not know why the Uiane had brought me here, but it could not end well. He prodded my back with the rifle and I reluctantly walked down toward the fens. Even up here, the ground was soft and gave beneath my feet. Midges [translator note: insects very similar to midges, changed to midges to avoid confusion.] buzzed around our heads, drawn by the scent of blood pumping through our veins. This was going to be very unpleasant.
With the Uiane goading me every step of the way, I gingerly stepped in the fens. The ground squished as I put my weight down. The next step was worse. Spotting moss, I stepped quickly onto that. Moss in the fens meant that solid ground was underneath it, meaning a safe place to put your foot. I had once, in my foolish youth, traversed the entire length of the fens that way, stepping from moss patch to moss patch. Now that I was older and wiser, I knew enough to avoid the fens altogether. That is unless someone is pressing a rifle to my back.
“Why do you want to cross the fens? There is nothing on the other side,” I told the being with the gun to my back. I could see him stepping carefully where I had set my feet.
“Much on other side. Great money. Not for you,” he grunted. I shrugged and continued on my way, searching for the next firm patch to set my foot. We slowly crossed the fens in this fashion, me searching for safe ground, stepping on it, and my captor following me. I guess it was lucky for him that he had captured me, instead of those buffoons I had run into the other day. I was the only one who knew how to get past the fens alive.
We made good time, despite me having to lead the idiot with the gun. I paused, my foot hovering in the air. A thought had occurred to me, a very strange thought. I had not seen a single Loardphuzi during the whole trip across the fens. I should have seen at least two, and we should been forced to hid from at least one. That was a mystery to be solved at another time, as I still had to focus on not drowning in mud.
The ground grew firmer the closer we got to the mountains and I grew more and more uneasy the closer we got. That was where the Loardphuzi lived, and one does not wake a sleeping dragon and expect to live. The mud turned to dirt and then to stone. We were at the base of the mountains and they towered hundreds of feet above us, great stone monoliths set there by the gods. I could see black holes spread over the face of the mountain closest to us, carved by the Loardphuzi for their homes.
“That cave, big one, we go there,” the Uiane said, pointing to the biggest cave, set deep in the middle of the mountain. The stone was hard beneath my feet as I trudged up the slope, my eyes searching in all directions for any sign of a Loardphuzi. If I did saw one, no rifle would stop me from running away from there as fast as I could. My captor seemed unconcerned by the thought of giant reptilian monsters eating us as he did not make an effort to conceal his presence.
As we got closer to the cave, I saw how truly massive it was. Dozens of feet high and a hundred wide, this cave could have housed my entire tribe with room to spare. Drawing ever closer, I saw the claw marks along the stone and my jaw dropped when I realized that this enormous cave had been carved by a Loardphuzi. To be able to reach the top of this huge cave, that Loardphuzi had to have been the size of a small transport ship. It was long dead, thankfully. This cave was over a hundred years old judging by the buildup of sediment and plant life.
“You go in, distract big lizard, I get money. You avoid big lizard, you live, free,” the blue being said. Wait, avoid the big lizard?
“You mean there is a Loardphuzi in there?” I asked incredulously.
The Uiane looked at me. “What you think made this.” He gestured to the cave. It came to me in a rush. If there truly was a Loardphuzi in there, big enough to carve out this cave, that would explain why there were no other Loardphuzi. One this big would frighten all of the others off. They would have gone to hunting grounds, leaving this one ripe for the picking by the big one. What I didn’t know was how I had never seen a sign of such a large Loardphuzi. Maybe it had been hibernating and was now awake?
“Enough wait. Go!” ordered the being with the gun.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
The voice from the forest, the one belonging to the giant, sounded behind us. I was startled. I hadn’t seen him sneak up on us and I had been scanning all around with my eyes, searching for any Loardphuzi. He strode calmly up the slope behind us, the jahen following him. Both of them had mud up to their thighs, clearly they had some trouble navigating the fens. The Uiane was even more surprised than I was.
“Clint! Thought lost you, Ghurawn,” he said, his pronunciation even worse with shock.
“I’ve been tracking you and that gold you stole from me for ten systems, blueballs. Did you really think I was going to let a few fysh hounds stop me?” Clint’s eyes gleamed with what seemed like excitement. “I do have to be honest though, you did give us a fine chase.”
Blueballs leveled his rifle at Clint. He spoke, a tremor audible in his voice. “You back. My gold. Not yours.”
Clint’s face grew hard. “Did you really think you could just up and walk with my half of the score? If you don’t give me that gold, I will be forced to get angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.”
Blueballs did not say anything, he just pulled the trigger. Clint dove to the ground to avoid the plasma shot. The jahen dove to the side, crouching behind a boulder. But the shot never came. Instead, the rifle exploded in Blueballs’ hands. A loud bang echoed around the mountains and the Uiane screamed in pain. His arms and chest were burned from the exploding gun and his hands were little more than bloody stumps.
My rifle fell from his shoulder as he thrashed around, flailing in pain. I grabbed it quickly, not wanting it out of my grip for a second longer. As I watched, Clint strode over to the stricken being and, gripping his head in both hands, wrenched it to the side, silencing him for good.
“Well that was exciting. The water must have done something to the firing block. The shot left the power cell but had nowhere to go but back. Huh.” He sounded mildly interested in the whole process and didn’t seem at all affected by the fact that he had just killed a being as easily as he would snap a twig.
“So, do we go get the gold or not?” asked the jahen.
“Right this second,” said Clint.
“I wouldn’t,” I said. “There is a giant Loardphuzi in there. It could eat you in one bite.”
“We’ll be quiet,” said Clint. “And if it does wake up, it shouldn’t be that hard to deal with.”
ROAR! That sound shook the mountains to their roots. I was staggered by the force of that noise but Clint and the jahen seemed unperturbed. Their faces were calm, as if they had done this many times before.
“It seems it’s awake,” said the jahen, in a voice far too relaxed for the trouble we were about to be in. The ground shook. Deep in the darkness of the cave, there moved a shape. With thundering, ponderous footfalls, the mother of all Loardphuzi emerged from the cave. Standing dozens of feet high, this monstrosity was big enough to eat a house with two bites. Its scaled skin was more than a foot thick and its claws looked longer than my whole body. It swung its head from side to side and focused its flaming white eyes on us. It took a ponderous step forward.
“And it’s huge.” Clint’s voice seemed to grow ever so slightly higher. The Loardphuzi snorted and smoke erupted from its nostrils. With a flat tone, Clint stated, “It’s a dragon.”
I didn’t know what a dragon was, but I did know that there was no way that we were going to survive this. We couldn’t run, the Loardphuzi would chase us down in five steps. We couldn’t hide, there was nowhere to hide out here in the mountains and fens. There was only one chance and it had next to zero chance of working. I lifted my rifle and poured shot after shot into the creature’s hide.
My rifle was a modified plasma rifle, designed to focus as much energy in one tiny area as possible. This made it a very effective hunting weapon as it could punch through the toughest of hides. Against this beast, it was like throwing rocks at a tree, it did no damage. The armored hide was too thick and too tough. My rifle would run out of power before leaving a scratch. There was nothing we could do.
The Loardphuzi lunged and we scattered. I dove to the left and the others dove to the right. The rocks were sharp on my ribs and the rough stone scrapped my skin, but I was alive. I saw, through my right rear eye, that the giant and the jahen had survived as well. The Loardphuzi had continued past us, propelled by the force of its lunge. Deep gashes in the stone marked where its thick claws had gripped in its mad rush.
“Is there any way to stop this thing?” the jahen shouted at me.
“No! The armor is too thick and strong. We don’t have anything strong enough to penetrate its skin.”
“If we can’t go through the skin, we’ll have to go inside it. Give me your rifle,” Clint shouted back. The Loardphuzi had turned itself around and was coming back for another try.
“Why? It won’t work, the skin’s too thick.”
“Just do it, trust me!”
And strangely, I did. This stranger, who I had only known for a less than an hour, had gained my trust in a way that even I didn’t know. I threw him my rifle, watching it spin, arcing on its path to Clint Stone. He caught it and stepped in front of the charging Loardphuzi. I wanted to dive out and pull him out of the way but the Loardphuzi was too close. We would have both been eaten. The jahen seemed undisturbed by the fact that his friend had just walked into the path of a natural disaster.
The Loardphuzi hurled itself at Clint, maw open wide. The yellow teeth curved, wicked and sharp, from the red toothbed and the creature’s throat was a dark abyss. Clint stood still, until the Loardphuzi was on top of him and then he leapt. He did not leap to the side to escape the Loardphuzi, he jumped into the thing’s mouth! The beast snapped its jaw shut and gulped down the foolish giant. I started to run. I didn’t know what else to do. I had no weapon, no cover. My only hope was to get to one of the smaller caves and pray that the Loardphuzi didn’t care enough to dig me out.
Both of my rear eyes were focused on the Loardphuzi as it turned round and began to charge me. I kept running, but with every step it took, the beast gained thirty feet. I wasn’t going to make it. The Loardphuzi stumbled. Its legs collapsed and it fell, crashing into the ground with enough force to knock me off my feet. Several boulders rolled from the tops of the mountains, but thankfully they were singular events.
I regained my feet and approached the Loardphuzi cautiously. Its eyes, once blazing white, were now pale and washed out. It was dead. I stared. I didn’t know what could have killed a monster this big and not leave a mark. I hadn’t heard any weapons. Before me, the eye began to glow red. I back away hurriedly as it bulged outward. It burst and steaming white pus flew out, coating me and the mountain wall behind me. Out of the eye socket climbed the giant Clint Stone, my rifle clutched in his hands.
“I guess you can start calling me Saint George, now,” Clint said, laughing. “Damn, those suckers smell bad on the inside.”
I stared with awe. He had climbed down the throat of the biggest Loardphuzi in existence, cooked it from the inside, and then joked about it. This being was clearly insane.
“Tedix, would you kindly grab the gold so we can get out of here and back to Susan so I can take a shower.”
The jahen walked in to the cave and emerged minutes later hunched over from the weight of a large bag slung over his shoulder.
“Good day to you, Gem. You can go back to your tribe and tell them you killed a dragon today,” said Clint. He handed me my rifle and walked away, grabbing the bag from Tedix. I stared at their backs until they disappeared in to the horizon. With a jolt, I came back to my senses and stared at the “dragon”. I had no idea how I was going to get this back to the tribe, but I did know that I would become Chief of the Hunt with this kill. Technically, I hadn’t killed the beast, the stranger had, but with my rifle. And what is a hunter, if not his rifle?