2y BV
Yosemite National Park, California, USA, Earth
Chuck Byse turned the knife over in his hands. “Nothing out here you can’t handle with a quality Wolf: Wilderness Explorer survival blade,” he stated, to no one in particular. He turned off the head mounted camera that he wore and prepared to upload the short video. Chuck was young, but was already a shrewd businessman. He had founded Wolf: Wilderness Explorer a few years back and quickly turned it into a multi-million dollar business. It turns out it is not hard to make money when you sell cheap Chinese survival tools for the price of better, but less well branded tools.
The trip out here, a one week stay in Yosemite National Park, was just the latest in his recent series of marketing trials. Everyone knew that advertising was stagnating. There were too many minds searching for far too few increasingly ad-weary eyes. The only way to get your message out now was to do something at least mildly interesting, and hope that it went viral.
He had had some success with earlier marketing trials. Of the dozen or so trials he had done, one in particular had stood out. He had taken to the streets and attempted to interview anyone that looked interesting. Most people turning him down right away, but a few let him ask a few carefully worded, slightly suggestive questions. Fewer still were willing to sign over rights for the cost of a knife and a few bucks. Even so, enough took the bait and his marketing team managed to put together a montage that got a few hundred thousand views online. Besides the cost of his time, the whole endeavor was cheaper then most of the TV ads his company had produced, and seemed to work better too.
He set the knife aside and began packing up his tools. The next video would have to be somewhere else. Perhaps he could find a waterfall or something. This most recent video was the fifth, or was it the sixth, one that he had done. He grabbed his pack and left his camp. He did not get very far before a white light appeared and he suddenly felt very tired.
Chuck opened his eyes. In front of him stood … Kif Kroker, but gray with large dark eyes and … “nnnyygg.” His head was spinning as he tried to form a coherent thought. His mind was, rather quickly, coming back into focus as Kif started grinning madly.
“Ha! Ha ahaha. I have caught you and you are now my prisoner!” he cackled manically.
“Uhhh, where am I?” replied Chuck.
The gray being stopped laughing and put a serious look on his face. “In a prison, of course.”
“Why… who are you?” Chuck scratched the back of his head as he sat up.
“I’m Nevil, and I caught you because I am smart,” said, well, Nevil. “The Corti abductors are the best, and I am the best because I am an abductor!”
Chuck pondered for a bit. He must be in a dream. Okay, he could work with that. Some of the best ideas struck while the mind was allowed to wander, might as well play along to try to get the most of it. Chuck took stock of his surroundings. The being in front of him seemed impulsive enough, that he just might be able to make this work. “All right kid, you caught me, good work and all. You passed your test, or whatever. Why don’t you just go ahead and put me back where you found me.”
Rage spread across Nevil’s face. “Kid? You called me a Kid? I’ll have you know I am top of my class!”
All right, so the appeal to ego failed, but the being, apparently a Corti by the sound of it, was even younger and more impressionable than he had thought. Perhaps an appeal to authority would work. “Listen, kid, where are your parents. Do they know what you are doing here?” Just a shot in the dark, but if all the Corti children were like this, abductions would be in the news everywhere and not just a few small cases here and there among the crazies.
“Parents? My genetic predecessors? Why would I care about them? No they are not here. Only my … no they are not here, it is only me! I did this because I am smart!” cried the Corti.
So this being in front of him was quite young…or just quite childish, and there was almost certainly an authority figure nearby. “All right kid, ya got me. You are smart and whatnot. What do you want from me?”
The Corti stopped and pondered for a minute. “I … uh. I caught you, that’s as far as my plan got.”
“Seriously? Why not just put me back then, now that you are done?” replied Chuck.
“I, uh, don’t know how.” spoke Nevil, dejected.
Well that’s just great. Now what was he going to do. “Well why don’t you ask your guardian, the one that is clearly not here?”
“I can’t do that! He would ground me forever!”
Chuck raised an eyebrow. “How were you planning on keeping this a secret from him?”
“I was just going to let you off somewhere and pretend the whole stasis thing was an accident.” explained Nevil. “Wait, why am I talking to you? You are my prisoner!”
Chuck … chuckled. He moved to stand up, but stumbled as he flew a few feet up into the air. He managed to regain his footing and inspected the cage that he was in. The cage he was in was one that was clearly designed to hold simpler creatures. He pulled open the cage handle and the door squeaked open.
Nevil eyes widened and he let loose an extremely high pitched squeal and ran out of the room. Chuck stepped out of the room and took stock of his surroundings. He had with him his hiking gear, and the backpack that held all the products he was trying to advertise. Convenient, even if most of it was designed for wilderness survival, and not for use in a place like this.
He took a drink from one of his canteens and stepped out into a hallway. The hall led both left and right, both going a short distance and ending in sealed doors. There were a few rooms open to the left and right of his. The one on the left was empty, but the one on his right contained a giant white giraffe with far too many limbs.
The giraffe eventually took note of him, then its face went even whiter and a horrified look appeared on his face then immediately put 3 of its hands over its face. It stumbled back as it kicked and climbed over various pieces of furniture trying to back into a small corner of its room.
“Y… you … you are about kill me!” it said exasperated, as it tried to stuff its face with bedsheets.
Chuck cautiously approached and spoke. “Who are you?”
The giraffe eyed him up and down then suddenly composed himself and tried putting himself into a more dignified position. “Oh thank god, you have an implant.”
Chuck involuntarily produced a questioning look on his face.
“Frontline implant, make exposure to humans far less excruciatingly fatal.” the giraffe explained, his calm demeanor a complete reversal of its previous behavior.
“…Is everyone in this facility this crazy? No normal people at all?” asked Chuck.
“Normal? There is nothing normal about kidnapping a member of a signatory species of the Dominion. Also, what do you mean by ‘facility?’ those are usually attached to the ground.”
A number of rather interesting questions began to circle in Chuck’s head. He wasn’t sure where to start, but this being at least seemed to be better informed than the Corti had been. He began to contemplate the situation at hand, forming his questions into clever interrogative statements that would eventually resolve into providing all the answers he needed. Truly a master of statecraft at work.
“Who the fuck are you, and what the fuck is going on?” Nailed it.
“Now now, there is no need for vulgarity. As for me, I am Brrtklklk Nk’tntnrkk member of the Rrrrtktktkp’ch domain.”
“Yeah, I’m not going to even try to pronounce that. I’m calling your lot Rickys and I’ll give you a choice for the name I’m calling you. I’m thinking either Bart or … Nick maybe?”
The Ricky looked mildly insulted, but soon relented. “I suppose Bart isn’t the worst, even if I am not overly fond of the comparison that draws.”
“Ok, how the hell do you know about the Simpsons?” Chuck demanded.
“Do you think it luck that I am on this ship? I’ve been studying earth, and, for that matter, humanity ever since Kirk met that Jenkins guy.”
Chuck pondered for a minute. “Well that does answer the question of how you know English I guess.”
“No no, its the implant doing that.” Bart beckoned him closer. “May I touch your head?”
“I guess … why are you asking?”
“You could kill me a dozen ways right now, many of those before I would even have a chance to react. I am not interested in startling you.” Bart gently put his hand on Chuck’s temple. “Here, feel here.”
Chuck felt the area indicated. There was an elevated area beneath his skin. He could feel the abrupt edges of the object. “What is that, what did he do to me?”
“Translator implant. Standard Corti tech. Looks to be well done, he must have used the auto-medic for it.”
“This dream just keeps getting weirder and weirder.” Chuck shook his head in mild amusement.
“Dream? Oh no, I highly doubt this is a dream.”
“Of course it is, look how crazy this shit is!” Chuck yelled.
“Well there is an easy way to find out. I’ve studied enough of humanity to believe that many, though not, of course all, of our neural processes are similar. Dreams, in our kind, are processes of the creative parts of the brain, and do not involve the logic centers significantly. If that is the case, verifying that this is not a dream should be as simple as reading something.”
Chuck blinked, and pulled out one of the still-packaged knifes out of his pack. “Looks like words still … so that means its not a dream?” He asked, skeptically.
“Good chance, but you should try to actually read them to be a bit more certain.”
Sure enough, the text was written clear as day. Chuck struggled slightly to keep his composure. “That … doesn’t mean anything, you are part of the dream too, of course you’d say something that was verifiable.”
“Suit yourself, my own dreams are certainly not so logically complete. Regardless, that hardly changes how you should act.” said Bart.
Chuck thought on this for a moment. “Why are you helping me? What reason do you have to explain this to me?”
“What reason do I have to attempt to calm and rationalize a very obviously dangerous being? What reason do I have in attempting to befriend an example of the species I’ve spent the last few years trying to study? You seemed much smarter earlier in the conversation.”
Chuck hesitated. “At the start of the conversation I was fully convinced this was a dream.”
“And now that you no longer believe so, how does that change things? Should making this real actually change your behavior any?”
“… I suppose not.” Chuck conceded.
“Good, now lets get out of here and get back to my ship.” Bart stated in a simple, matter-of-fact manner.
“Oh, is your ship parked outside this building?”
“Building?” Bart chuckled. “We are in a ship.”
“Can’t be. There would be waves, even in calm seas.”
Bart stopped and glared at the human. “You just met two alien species and you decide that I meant an ocean-going vessel and not a spacecraft?”
“Well, saying it like that, it does sound a bit ridiculous … but if we were airborne there would be turbulence, or if we were in space, there would be … what’s there word again? Micro-gravity.”
Bart pointed down. “Gravity plates. Anything else?”
“Nothing that can’t wait I guess.” said Chuck examining the cell that Bart was in. “Hmm … wait, are these just normal hinges?”
“Why not? Its not like anything short of a Deathworlder can break out of here.”
“Deathworlder?” Chuck asked.
“Yes, as in a species that evolved on a Deathworld. Worlds that can kill sapient beings within minutes just by being there. Worlds where everything you can see wants to kill you dead.”
Chuck pondered a moment, then returned to his work. “These bars don’t look that strong.” He said as he shrugged.
Bart sighed “Yes, you are a human, I would image you could probably break these bars. I would prefer if you didn’t though, I don’t want to die from a shrapnel injury.”
Chuck digested this newly found information. “… I’m a Deathworlder, aren’t I.”
“By George, I think he’s got it!” Bart laughed as he spoke. “There may be some hope for you after all.”
Chuck had already pulled out a multi-tool and unscrewing the familiar bolts holding the hinges together. Apparently some mechanical concepts just work. “What of the little brat. Nevil?”
“Oh, I heard him stomping on down towards the cargo bay. I wonder if has tried to wake up the other Corti in the stasis field.” Bart noted the confused look Chuck’s face. “He’s loud, brash and far too self-confident. He talks to himself about everything. Loudly.”
They heard a yelp around the corner of the room, then a door slamming a few seconds later. Chuck chuckled grimly “I guess that’s what he’s doing now.”
“Oh, we shall be just fine, we do have you after all.” Bart said and he helped Chuck set the door aside.
“What if he shoots me?” Chuck said exasperatedly.
Bart laughed, “Then he’d probably die to a severe case of no-longer-assembled.” Bart stopped. “Oh right, you don’t know about that yet.” He jabbed a finger gently into Chuck’s chest. “You are a tough SOB. I…” he said pointing to himself “am nothing but a fluffy meat pastry. So are they.”
Chuck blinked. “…Uh, that is … a bit disturbing.”
“But true. If they shoot me, I am hurt, perhaps dead. If they shoot you…it may not even be enough to piss you off. They know this.” Bart stopped for a second lost in thought. “…OK, maybe the younger one does not.” He shook his head to clear it. “Regardless, you’ll be fine as long as they do not have fusion blades, though even then…”
Chuck interrupted “Fusion blades? That sound like something that needs an explanation!”
“There is nothing to worry about, no ship like this would have them.”
Chuck boggled briefly. “OK, fine, whatever, we should probably check on this mess,” he said as he started heading toward the door he thought was the correct one.
“…can’t believe you locked me in there. What were you thinking?” said an unfamiliar, though likely Corti, voice.
Chuck slowed and quietly put his ear to the door.
Nevil spoke “I wanted to show that I’m ready, I wanted to show that I could capture a human just like you taught me!”
“Where is this human now?”
“He’s in the room with the Rrrrtk!”
Silence filled the air. After several seconds the other Corti spoke in a deadly calm voice “What. Rrrrtk.”
A slight gulping noise was heard. Then the other Corti spoke again. “We are going to fix this now before you break anything else.”
The door opened and a slightly larger Corti stood before him, eyes and mouth wide open, staring at him. He spoke in a calm quiet deadpan, not moving a muscle. “Nevil. What treatments have you done to this human?”
Nevil whimpered “Frontline and translator, just like you showed me.”
The larger Corti looked both more relieved and more terrified at the same time. “This is not how I expected to die.”
Chuck tilted his head. “Why would you die?”
The Corti blinked then relaxed ever so slightly. “I suppose if you wanted to kill me you would have done so already.”
Noticing the confusion on Chuck’s face he spoke once more. “I am Zilroy, I don’t suppose we can come to some sort of agreement?”
“I don’t see why not.” Chuck pondered for a minute. He spoke a little louder. “Hey Bart, get over here! I’m thinking they don’t want to kill you, as cleaning brain matter off the ceiling looks like it would be a pain!” That remark had the intended effect on Zilroy, judging by his facial expression. Bart should be safe.
“I’ll let Bart here make the demands. I’m sure you would appreciate this as well. The only option I can think of is throwing you out the airlock. Maybe Bart has a better idea.”
Zilroy gulped again.
“Ya know, I think I may be in the way here, I’ll let you and Bart talk in peace. You will be good, right Zilroy?”
Zilroy nodded.
Bart stepped out the door and let them talk alone.
Several minutes later Bart came out looking happy. “That went well” he said. “They’re giving me a few useful items for my shop and will bring us back to my ship. Zilroy was also kind enough to get your abductee compensation package sorted out. Oh, here.” he said, handing Chuck a sleek looking tablet. “Nevil is just a kid and doesn’t have much, but Zilroy wanted to punish him, and I figured you didn’t have one of these yet.”
Chuck mulled over the results. “I didn’t hear about a return to earth in that list.”
Bart shrunk and fidgeted with all of his arms. “Well, Nevil broke the cloaking engine when he shut it down. And… and I humbly request that you to stay.” Bart flinched.
Chuck decided to hold that second revelation for a while. “Why do we need the cloaking engine?”
Bart looked a bit confused. “Surly you realize that your planet is far from defenseless against ground level threats. There is a non-trivial chance that we would be shot down! I also have zero intention of being captured.” He paused, and sighed “Captured again, I suppose.”
Chuck frowned, but re-composed himself a moment later. “Alright, I guess we can figure this out later. Will I be joining you on your ship?”
“Yes…In time. This is going to be a bit tricky. I can spacewalk over to my ship, but we’ll have to get back to orbit to get you across.”
“Back to orbit? Where is your ship?”
“On the moon”
“The moon?” Chuck asked. “Which moon?”
“Yours, Luna.”
Chuck felt a slight anger rising inside him once again “Okay, if you can get there without being seen, how come you can’t get me back to Earth?”
Bart recoiled again slightly. “I…kept the moon between my ship and the Earth, and passed as close to Sol as I could. That would make it difficult to spot my ship. I had to wait past Neptune for [3 weeks] for the moon to be on the correct side of the planet.”
Chuck thought a moment. “Does this mean we’ll be seen when we return to the ship?”
“Maybe… I was being very careful when I came in. I wanted some time to work in peace. This time, we’ll be in and out. There is no response that Earth could have to get to us half a million kilometers out. At least, nothing in the time frame that we will be there.”
Chuck nodded in understanding “Moving on, can we trust them?”
After a moment Bart replied “Yes… at least I think so. If not, you’ll be on the same ship as them. I don’t like their odds.” The ship lurched slightly. “Looks like we are getting ready to land.”
“Land? Already? Have we been in lunar orbit this whole time?”
“No, we would have been seen. That just the FTL drive winding down.”
Chuck’s eyes widened, then he glanced away. “You know what, never mind, I’ll ask later.”
“Well I need to get suited up, we’ll get going soon enough.” Bart returned to his cage and picked up and object that did resemble a spacesuit.
“Huh,” said Chuck “I did not see that there earlier. Why do you have that here?”
“Do you really think I would not have been wearing a spacesuit when I was abducted from the surface of the moon?”
While Bart put on his suit, Chuck changed the topic. “Did they tell you why you were abducted?”
Bart shook with contempt. “Yes. Nevil did not want to injure you, so he decided to test his abduction abilities on someone else. I just happened to be the only life-form near Earth…Zilroy was grateful that I let him handle Nevil’s punishment. If I had brought this matter to the Dominion’s court… But I digress, I have no interest in dealing with a lawsuit at this time.”
“What were you doing on the moon?”
“No time for questions, I need to get out the airlock.” Bart said as he put on his helmet. “But, in short, collecting moon-rocks… and one scrap of metal I believe is from Ranger 4.”
Bart walked down the hallway with Chuck in tow. They approached a door on the side of the ship. The door opened up into darkness. Chuck started walking towards it until Bart threw his arm in front of him, grunting in pain as he hit Chuck in the chest. “Ow… I highly advise you to not exit this ship without proper equipment!”
Chuck stammered, failing to produce an adequate response. He decided to stop talking.
Bart flipped a switch, and the nearby area lit up in the most surreal thing he had ever seen. Gray, dusty landscape accented by deep shadows. Directly in front of him was an object that was definitely a spacecraft. A horizontal cylinder, roughly 20 meters in length with a few bits and pieces hanging off the sides sat before him, two pairs of short legs resting on the lunar regolith.
“We’ll meet up again in orbit. It will be easier to maneuver the airlocks together out there.” Bart said just before bounding off to his ship.
Chuck was still struck dumb from the view ahead of him. But soon enough he regained his composure. Then he noticed the distinct lack of door between him and the desolate wasteland in from of him. He must have had a horrified look on his face. A sudden jump scare did nothing to help.
“I’m guessing you’ve never seen a force-field airlock before.” That was Zilroy. He must have snuck in behind him. “Nevil will get us up to the rendezvous point… I do enjoy that word, rendezvous, rolls off the tongue well. English is a most interesting language.” Chuck raised an eyebrow at that. Zilroy shrugged and continued. “The letters are all wrong though. I suppose I owe you an apology for what my charge did to you.” He chuckled dryly “Locking me in the stasis chamber while I was cleaning it. He’ll pay for it, of course, but he’ll do quite well for himself once he grows up.”
Chuck wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. “I’m not quite sure how to respond to that.”
“Don’t worry too much about it. I know what you are. You’re a schemer, a manipulator, a negotiator. I feel it would be in my best interest to make sure we part ways on a positive note. Once you learn more about how things work around here… well, I’m sure we can do great things together. Oh, just to make sure there are no hard feelings, I want you to have this.” Zilroy handed him a sword.
“What is this?”
“It’s a fusion blade, I’ve heard that humans quite like to use them. Point it away from me.” He waited for Chuck to comply. “Now then, hit the button on the hilt.”
Chuck grabbed the hilt and powered up the weapon. “Woah” Chuck gave the blade a few practice swings. “Hold on… Bart said you wouldn’t have one of these on board.”
Zilroy smiled deviously and began pacing. “Bart does not know who he is dealing with. Regardless, I’ll leave you two to play alone for now. The costs borne today are a mere pittance compared to what we could do in the future. Remember me for what I, Zilroy, have done here to rectify what Nevil has done. Especially when you first show Bart how much is in your account. We’ll see each other again, I’m sure.”
Chuck said nothing for a time. He clearly saw that he had just been handled, but he saw no reason to let Zilroy know that. Might as well play along, for now at least. “I’m sure we will.”
Zilroy stopped pacing. “I’ve got an idea how to get you across the gap. You may not like it.”
The ships met up together in orbit. Bart, Chuck and Zilroy met in the cargo hold of Zilroy’s ship. Bart directed Chuck to a metal cylinder with a big glass window on the front.
“Step into here” Bart said as closed the door. The door opened right after that. “Come on out of there.”
“Is everything alrigh…” Chuck stopped as he looked around. This was not where he had just been.
Bart chuckled. “Yes, it took a little longer than I had hoped, but with some ropes, and the gravity off…well we got it done. We do need to get you a spacesuit soon though, I do not wish to do that again.”
“Where are the Corti?”
“They left. We are leaving now too. I have no interest in discovering if Earth has spotted us. Come.”
Chuck followed. “Isn’t that Zilroy’s stasis chamber?”
Bart chuckled “He said that chamber is now a “possession of great shame” or something. He was not a fan of having been outplayed by his pupil. Regardless, I have a feeling it could be quite useful for us. I hear humans have quite the apatite.”
Chuck turned and followed Bart a short distance to the cockpit. He took one last look as the Earth just barely began to peek around the moon’s horizon. The ship turned away from the Earthrise and in a blink of an eye the moon was gone.
He glanced to his left. Bart was there with with a smile on his face. “So Bart, where are we headed?”
“Back to my shop…eventually. We will have to stop for supplies. Mostly food for you.” Bart stopped. “Why don’t you get some rest, we’ve got quite the trip ahead of us.”
Chuck nodded and went to find a place to sleep. A couch. Close enough. Chuck fell asleep.