The question hung in the air, and Ivo was lost for a moment.
He knew what he needed to say, but still he hoped to shape the conversation in a manner that could possibly warm the attractive xeno to him. However, face to face with the object of his fantasy, his mind was useless.
Ivo mentally repeated to himself, “This is not a dating sim. There is no magic phrase to her heart. Just be honest and say what you need. The rest is out of your hands.”
Kalin’s smile grew a little wider. The —worm— had been thrown into confusion. She prepared herself to be enraged afresh, nothing it could say could change her opinion. She might have been tricked into taking that deal, but she would make sure that the hu-mon would soon live to regret taking her “love.” Ivo cleared his throat, and then succinctly spoke.
“You’re free to go.”
Kalin, so sure of the coming offense, thought she’d misheard him.
“What?”
Slightly louder and clearer in tone, “You are free to go.”
The captain chose to lean backwards at that moment, and stare at the ceiling. Then speaking with a bored and disappointed tone: “We have an appointment to keep, so as soon as we make our next port you can leave, No strings, no tricks, you’re free to go.”
Kalin’s tail suddenly stopped moving, her jaws loosened as her ears went limp. It took her a moment to overcome the shock.
Ivo was still lazily looking at the ceiling. Kalin slid her legs off the desk pulled herself forward, rested both appendages firmly on the desk, disturbed the captain’s —coffee– and looked down at his face.
“WHAT?”
Ivo half smirked and spun the chair, while lazily locking eyes with her.
She was incensed. The creature was choosing to mock her. That was the only explanation.
“You expect me to believe you —WORM—!”
Her claws extended as they started to rake the desk.
“That’s Captain —worm— to you, and yes I do. Why would I lie?”
Kalin started motioning with one of her appendages, “That whole display, the demon machines, the terms and humiliation, and you expect me to believe that you’ll just let me go?”
Ivo stopped spinning, looked deep into her eyes and said in a sinister tone: “This is my ship, I do with it as I will do with you, whatever I desire.”
In a more chipper tone: “That being said, I desire to give you your liberty. Now please stop standing over me. Sit back, relax, and we can actually converse.
Kalin was further confused. This creature, who by all pheromonal signs had shown nothing but uncontrollable —desire— for her, was now rejecting its prize?
She slowly pulled back and sat in the chair again; for the first time, she did not know what to think of this —thing—.
“Sooo —barbarian— I will not find any room upon this ship, piled high with your —female— —xeno— —conquests—, collected from every corner of the galaxy?”
The way she said that, with both sensuality and malice, would have caused Ivo to gag if he had not swallowed his coffee in time.
”….no,….cough…..ah…no no, no ah nope.” “So instead, you regularly go dueling the biggest, baddest monsters you can find.”
“Not if I don’t have to.”
Her voice growing, said: “WHY DID YOU FIGHT ME? Why risk the location of your homeworld, if you weren’t going to gain anything by it?”
Ivo used his digits to start counting off points. “Well, first you were trying to kill me, second I thought you were unbelievably attractive, and third, my homeworld is in no danger if its location is revealed. I just wanted to get a chance to sit down with you, though I kinda hadn’t really thought ahead to what I was gonna do after that fight.”
“Are you insane? I thought your intentions were quite clear?”
“Well as they say in the South, clear as mud.”
Ivo’s behavior continued to perplex the Kasuri woman. Now she was actually curious.
“Are all humans as insane as you?”
“Probably, though some less than others.”
Throughout the whole exchange, the hu-mon creature had remained completely calm, however its emotional and pheromonal broadcasting was growing louder in spite of the placid demeanor.
The creature was baffling. It was obviously a predator, that seemed to uncontrollably radiate its desires and feelings, yet it continually acted contrary to the signals it was sending. Kalin had seen many xeno’s come and go (more go than come, but that’s to be expected for a Kas’), but their actions were consistent with their pheromonal output. If two volans were out for dinner, and putting out a lot of “positive” emissions it would be easy to predict where the evening was going.
In turn, a xeno stinking of fear would cower at the slightest glance; a confident smelling xeno could be expected to stand their ground. She thought to herself, and then decided to ask him some awkward questions directly.
The captain took advantage of the pause in the conversation to take a sip of his —coffee–.
“Soooo, when when you first laid eyes upon myself, back at the bar, you were not planning to immediately mount me then and there.”
Ivo, caught off guard (again) by the question, choked before regurgitating the black tar substance. Ivo barely managed to turn his head enough to avoid spraying the coffee all over her.
It took Ivo a full minute to stop coughing, and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.
“Nooo, absolutely not, I…”
“So that thought was never on your mind?”
“I …mean, yes….but no…I would never do such an inappropriate thing.”
A mechanical voice chimed in over the bridges speakers.
“Captain, I hate to interrupt, but I believe that I can explain the situation…with some objectivity, if it is alright with the lady.”
Kalijn rolled her eyes a little, “Why not, I’m sure a cold, emotionless, demon of a machine like yourself has a better understanding of hu-mons than they do.”
“Indubitably!”
Ivo was both annoyed and relieved. He wasn’t sure how to defend himself from the accusations of a possible mind-reader.
“To explain humans I must use, how should I say, technically incorrect analogies. Though what I present is not scientifically accurate, it is however generally true of what we might call ‘the human condition.’”
“Is it contagious?”
The machine quoted:
“The human condition is “the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality”.[1] Taken from the human database https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_condition
“Be brief machine. The only thing I hate more than being insulted is being bored.”
“To explain why my captain oozes his desires all over the place, (besides him being a literal biological chemical factory), he has conscious desires, and unconscious desires.
The humans can both feel and desire one thing and act in the completely opposite manner. A frightened —male— may stand their ground, a seemingly brave man may run. Some hu-mans can through sheer force of will survive the most egregious wounds, while others can be completely physically healthy and will themselves to die.
Kalin heard this, and she felt disturbed. That sounded like an entire species of mad beings.
“Hu-mans have been described as having two minds: one that is conscious, making the ultimate decisions of what to do, and another unconscious mind, holding the creature’s unrealized desires. Ivo interjected.
“See, most of us hu-mans believe in the concept of free will, so I may unconsciously desire to do certain things and gravitate towards them, but it is up to my conscious mind to choose what actions to actually commit to.”
Ivo smiling a little devilishly said: “When I saw you, I was drawn to you like a limpet mine to the bow of a destroyer.”
She smiled at this, “I understand. Many of the death-beasts on Kalfaken III will emit pheromones to draw males of a completely different species to them, though such attractions end fatally.”
Kalin actually liked the thought of being able to entice “worthy” males to their doom, though, if they are strong as the Ivo creature’s, it could prove to be very problematic.
“So let me understand this: your species is constantly being pulled along by its desires, and yet you choose to constantly deny those desires. You sound like a bunch of masochistic perverts.”
Ivo spoke, “On the contrary, those humans who do nothing but continually fulfill those base instincts, are the continual causes of suffering on my world. It may seem masochistic, but by denying some “pleasures” in the short term, we can ensure lasting happiness and continuation of the species.”
“It’s why I was able to beat you without killing you. Through discipline, training and restraint, I was able to control whether I inflicted serious damage or avoided causing it all together.”
She looked at Ivo sideways.
“You still reek of —lust—, monster.” She seemed to grimace and growl some.
“Well I would rather smell like a monster than be proven one.”
Ivo then leaned forward and said with bitterness and a little malice: “Or would you rather have been taken right then there on the Tarmac?” As soon as Ivo had said this he regretted it.
Before the incensed Baroness could respond,
A loud WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP, as several lights flashed.
Helio cut in, “Captain, I have an emergency alert that needs your attention.”
Ivo stood up and said: “Listen I’m sorry the way things have been. If you want any other information, just consult the computer in your quarters. We’ll be making port in 7 days, and I promise not to bother you further.”
The door to the bridge opened, and several cyclops drones marched in and went to man various stations. Ivo turned his back on Kalin, and Helio addressed her, “Ma’am I’m afraid you have to vacate the bridge, this area is now off limits to non-crew personnel.”
“I get the idea I’m going. Kalin got up and walked out, Ivo catching a brief glance of her sensuous swinging gait, before the shield doors closed.”
As Kalin marched to her quarters, she thought, “You are a mad creature Ivo, and I will learn everything about you hu-mons. For the glory of the Kas’, you must be all tested and tasted. Perhaps the madness will actually be a boon to your palatability.
As she walked, the doors opened and closed as she passed a Turtle. It stared at her without emotion flanked by two murder bots as it marched toward the bridge. It was strange, the diminutive creature showed no fear, but she chose to ignore this for once. Another mad —xeno— would make sense for a ship such as this.
As soon as the second set of blast doors closed, the alerts turned off.
“Thanks Helios, you saved me.”
“No need to thank me, I just detected that you were shoving the proverbial boot down your throat, and I simply wished to save you any further…..discomfort.”
At that moment the bridge doors opened and Fred walked in.
“So ….I assume that was a false alert, or are we actually under attack?”
“Correct, it was simply a diversion.”
“And you’ve talked with the demon?”
Several of Helios’ drone eyes looked at Ivo, and them back at the turtle.
Ivo slouched back in a chair, and said with exasperation.
“Yes…I have, as we discussed.”
“And you are unharmed.”
Ivo smirking a little and faking pain, “Physically yes but alas the lass has broken my heart.”
Frederick stated flatly: “Well if breaks Helios can always build you a new one.”
Several of helios’ drone eyes looked like they were grinning at that.
Ivo smiled, “well only one week my friend, then it’s back to business as usual.”
Fred said, “I don’t think business is ever going to be quite the same due to your little show. The upside is, those —goblin— bastards we’ve been looking for may end up coming right to us.”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” Ivo responded.
“That’s alright captain. I’m sure more important things were on your mind.”
Fred looked up at one of the drone eyes, “How long to our next transit point?”
“45 hours, 15 minutes, 34, 33, 32 seconds.” Helios responded.
“Please alert me 20 minutes before we exit, I need to make sure my project is secured.”
“Understood” The machine responded.
As the turtle turned and began walking off the bridge, Ivo asked: “How’s your Neutrino bomb coming along?”
Frederick paused, half turned as the blast doors began to close. Softly with a little smile he said:
“Captain, when we find “them” I can assure you….they won’t feel a thing.”
10 Hours Earlier
The Lucky Bird had jumped, disappearing into the void, leaving the citizens of Travos VII behind. The space around Travos VII remained motionless for several minutes. Then thousands of lights began moving, as the throngs of waiting starships hastily made their planetfall. The many captains cutting safety margins to the minimum, trying to make up for all the lost time. An entire planet’s economy disrupted for a day, by two exceptional xeno’s.
Comadar Salkraveen retired from his post, turning over the command systems to one of his many adjuncts. He felt old, like he had aged a hundred cycles in a day. He spoke softly into his comm, “Evcrala make sure to send a copy of this night’s events to the Federation, as well as to the Captain of that Kas ship “The Unjust Verdict” when it arrives. Thinking for a moment before continuing: “Also I will expect you to give them the statement I have prepared, if they happen to arrive while I’m off duty”. He clicked off his comm, grabbed his cloak, and walked out. Salkraveen didn’t care to dwell on the fallout of the night’s events. He was just grateful that he would be able to get home and hold his mate once more.
5 hours Later
The Kasuri Captain Ruaku Hookaduun of the “The Unjust Verdict” made orbit of Travos VII. He stared down at the pathetic agricultural world, like so many others, full of life yet completely devoid of challenge or worthy prey.
He had been dragged out of his latest “deathworld” exploration mission, to this worthless planet. He hated being used as a glorified taxi service. But the matriarchs commanded and he followed without question. Though the assignment was dull, he did not despise his orders just the core cause of them, one rather spoiled baroness. She was “technically” royalty, but not a matriarch…yet. Thankfully, he would not have to love and serve her unconditionally yet. He served and loved the matriarchs, but the day when Kalin Ceres would become one, would be the one day in his entire existence that his love for a Kasuri woman would be tested.
It was so confusing, for her mother accepted all who were worthy, (and even a few who weren’t) but her daughter was colder than ice and as vicious as a Starfan Killbeast in heat. The best suitors throughout all of the Kasuri dominion were not good enough for her. At her ascension-ship ceremony the piles of suitors reached over 14 meters high, and yet she refused them all. Leaving the handful of survivors with broken hearts (figuratively speaking of course), the broken bones, severed limbs, and various burst internal organs of the survivors were nothing in comparison to the pain of knowing that they had disappointed a worthy female. It is said that most of the survivors succumbed to madness, never being able to throw themselves willing into the arena ever again.
But Captain Ruaku had not, thankfully, he found happiness in his mate Valshka, in spite of initially picking her on the rebound (only having to slay 35 other rivals) She had been amazing, single handedly restoring his faith in all of Kasuri womankind.
So in a way he owed something to Kalin as much as he despised her. Currently though he wished it was ANY other ship than his which could have been sent.
One of his subordinates looked up from his console and addressed the captain “Captain……Captain”
Captain Ruaku was disturbed out of his reverie, and looked at the ensign, he said: “Report”
“Captain we are being hailed by the worthless ones.”
The captain leaned back in his chair, and smugly said:
“Open the channel and put it on screen, let’s get this over with as quickly as possible.”
The screen materialized, and transmission synchronized, as a visibly sweating, and trembling volean female appeared. The captain assumed that she an official of some rank, though he honestly didn’t care who they spoke to so long as the results were the same.
She looked forward, her eyes darting back and forth, before locking onto the tablet which she held, as she read a prepared statement.
“The…..Baroness kkaaalinnn Ceres…..is….. no longer on Travos VII, she has….not stolen a ship… or …or hired on any captain….she ….she.. The voleon making the mistake to look up at the captain for a brief second, before continuing, she began to cry. She, sniff, …engaged in a duel…..with….an, sniff…..unknown xeno….. And lost……….afterword she was carried onboard the freelance ship, “the Lucky Bird” in an …..unconscious state.
With a sudden burst of speed she spoke the last sentence, almost too quickly for the translators to catch.
“Pleaseseeattacheddocuments,outlinesandrecordingsoftheeventsinthefilesattached.” Gasping for breath a moment before finishing: “Thank you for visiting Travos VII have a nice day.” As she fell to her knees, the stream of tears becoming a torrent.
The transmission cut off, and the pathetic scene was replaced by the Official Logo of Travos VII, with the text “400 years a proud federated member.”
The captain chuckled and smiled: “Well at least for once they were brief. Usually it takes a full half hour of pleading, crying and grovelling before we can get any useful information. Display what they sent and start analysis.”
The files were received by the ship’s computers. At first the captain viewed the outline, a complete hour by hour breakdown of Kalin’s activities leading up to the “abduction?” the captain spoke in confusion.
Reading over the events a second time cleared up the confusion. The captain confirming that she had been defeated in a duel, and by said duals conditions, the victor taking her as trophy. That thought sending chills down the captain’s spine as his fur inadvertently rippled. It had been decades since a Kasuri had lost a legitimate dual to an alien xeno, one who had faced a female no less.” But the behavior of that xeno was unprecedented.
…”Ivo Onni Boris” the captain spoke out loud, the name very un-Kas, foreign, and very strange,
The captain stood up, and said loudly: “Bring up the event recordings immediately!”
The captain watched the events, over and over and over again. From the bar fight, through the cabs hijacking and finally, the fight at the spaceport. It was a multi-view recording, so he was able to go over it again and again, pausing, rewinding, switching positions, to take in every last nuance of the fight.
It was horrible and beautiful, an unassuming being wielding amazing strength and fearlessness. A delicacy that had long been missed by the Kasuri. The captain both pondered and salivated. Hee wondered if “its” flavor compared well to the hunters. He hoped so, if only they (the kasuri) had realized those delightful monsters were not an infinite resource, then they would have not hunted them to extinction.
After working himself into an excited froth, he paused, catching himself, and then calmly announced over the ship’s comm: “We’re breaking for food, I’m authorizing the release of TWO live Starfan Killbeasts for lunch. Afterwards we will have a friendly fight in the gym, but no FATALITIES! I, for one, am having some trouble focusing right now. Decisions must be made and actions planned BUT ALL AFTER LUNCH.”
“What say you all?
Throughout the ship, thunderous roars were heard as, every crewman joined in agreement.
Before hitting the mess hall, he made sure the ship had been set on autopilot. Historically the Kas’, had lost more ships due to meal break accidents, than the combined combat losses suffered by the military embodiment, since the dawn of Kasuri space race.
The captain arrived late, almost missing the release. The food handlers unsealed two barrels holding Starfan Killbeasts, and sprayed them with rage gas. The previously stasissed beasts shot out of the barrels and began attacking the crew. They were very quickly they were overwhelmed and dog-piled by a hundred unarmed Kasuri. Lunch was sadly shorter than anyone would have liked, but two live killbeasts can only go so far, and so those who did not get a fresh tentacle had to suffer with recently dead, canned killbeast.
The exercise fight was highly relaxing, with over seventy-five crewmen sent to the infirmary, about 20 suffering from near-critical wounds. (Nobody died unfortunately).
The captain returned to the bridge covered from head to toe in blood followed by his two least wounded officers. Taking their seats they began replaying the footage once more.
Quite cool, and relaxed now, the captain spoke: “Ok we have a possible worthy unknown xeno that has to tagged and tracked. That’s the primary concern, secondary if we can, and if she is still alive, we should try and retrieve the baroness.”
One wounded officer: “Shouldn’t she be the priority, and do you think she’s under duress?”
“Well, if she is still alive, one of them is certainly under duress. I cannot fathom how such a strange looking creature would not only accept her challenge, but in turn demand such unusual victory conditions.” (At least unusual for a non-kasuri)
The captain somewhat darkly joked: “I would say that the creature has good taste, except I know that female. Of all the Kasuri in this galaxy, that xeno chose Kalin Ceres. Under any circumstances, propositioning a female Kasuri (though flattering) would be considered suicide.”
(In fact the captain could recall at least fifteen incidents of attempted suicide by Kasuri in the last century, all of them quite successful. The Kasuri despised weak xeno’s, but if a mad xeno wished to be eaten. Well, out of kindness, the Kas are willing to oblige even a worthless one on occasion).
The captain continued: “If she is still alive, despite that creatures obvious strength, we will most likely find that ship drifting and its crew pulped by the end of the week.”
“And if she is dead?”
“After we find out where “it” came from….we’ll eat him. It would be the best way to her honor her memory.”
The more thoughtful of the two officers spoke:
“What if we find that “it”, and her are still alive, and it refuses to either accept our challenges, or shows cowardliness, submits and proceeds to grovel at our feet?”
There was a reason Captain Ruaku refused to remember this officer’s name. This officer had a bad habit of being right in the worst ways.
“As honorable as we may be, some of the worthless are slightly less worthless than others, and if we “accidentally, fatally” step on a few, it can be forgiven.”
“That said, we will adjust to the situation as we see fit. In regards to the female, I am only willing to sacrifice half the crew for her honor, no more, and I will not risk my own life.”
The officers stared at him, and started to bar their teeth, it sounded like a proclamation of cowardliness, a male not wanting to fight for a WOMAN? TREASONOUS!.
With anger the officers spoke: Captain, we are honorbound as the Kas to try and “liberate” the female at all costs.”
Before they could get worked up enough, the captain said with force: “Look, I have already fought for her attention once, and was found…lacking. Therefore I have no intention of loosing my life and / or disappointing her again.”
The more naive of the the two officers spoke, “But captain, this time it could be different.”
Sighing the captain addressed the officer sincerely: “Thousands have died trying to earn her affection. I personally stood atop a pile of my brothers stacked to the ceiling and it was not enough, for her. I tell you “SHE BROKE MY HEART.” The two officers looked at him a little confused.
“Then..why aren’t you dead?”
The captain slouched back in his seat, and sighed while waving his claws. “Figuratively, figuratively, did you not learn about euphemism in the military academy?”
The navigation officer responded:“Oh I can’t read, but I think I ….understand.”
The captain wondered to himself, “How the hell do you run the navigation console then.” But did not voice this concern, lest he embarrass the officer. Ruaku assumed that if he had managed to do his job up to now successfully, without being able to read, he would do just fine in the future as well.
Contact the Travos Control, and find the outbound vector for the Lucky Bird”
Messages were relayed and coordinates locked in.
Speaking into the ship’s comm, the captain announced:
“Gentlemen we are going on a slight detour, with a possible hunt along the way, so get yourselves patched and back to your battle-stations.”
Loud howls and Hurrah’s reverberated through the ship.
Engines fired, and the ship pulled away from Travos VII’s gravity well.
As the “The Unjust Verdict” transitioned to FTL, it left the worthless Travos system behind. The ship was once again on its way to ensure justice and terror were measured out to those few damnable souls who were worthy of it.
The captain again relaxed in his chair, his steely blue eyes focused on the last image of Ivo Onni Boris recorded on Travos VII. The recording frozen at the moment the xeno stood victor on the ramp of his ship, flanked by his cold mechanical murder minions, who displayed his “prize”.
The captain’s mouth watered at the sight of that xeno’s terrible(and beautiful) steely visage, as he spoke softly, “I look forward to making your acquaintance, Ivo Onni Boris. I hope you flavor is as impressive as your flair”.