Scratch that.
I really don’t know how an alien plasma distribution network is worked. At all. This mantainence room is obviously meant to STAY in space, because it’s 70ft tall and has no ladder.
Since there was nothing of importance down here, I’m willing to bet I’ve gotta climb all the way to the top. This is probably where I should mention that the gravity of this planet is just barely heavier than Earth’s, but it’s nearly unnoticeable.
Now, I’m not an expert climber or anything, but this is probably something most people wouldn’t dare try and do. But I’m hungry, and I’m not trying to catch the space equivalent of E-Coli, so it has to be done.
Shuffling over to a small panel in the wall, I climbed up onto a sideways console next to it. Looking around, I saw that across the thin corridor was a large metal container in the wall.
Leap of faith mode activated. I jumped across, and just barely made it, hands now latched on the edge of the crate.
“AH! Oh shit!” Yelling like that was beyond my control, an involuntary response made by my body, but I didn’t care. What I DID care about, was not falling and having to start over.
Doing a pull-up, for someone as weak and flimsy as me, was difficult beyond belief. But with a name like Jack Daniels, how could I fail?
I didn’t. After a few seconds of strained groaning, I lifted myself onto the box. Critical success, indeed. Where to now?
Above me was, what looked like, one of those sliding doors from before, but it was closed. I could leap up and grab the doorframe.
I prepared everything I had, and like superman, jumped a grand 20 inches. How amazing. My fingers just barely missed the frame, and I landed back on the box.
That was embarrasing. Well, it would have been if there was anyone else on this planet EXCEPT Squiggles, who wasn’t even here. I brushed it off, and crouched down, jumping again, FINALLY latching my fingers on the frame.
Again, another godamn pull-up! Too bad, Me, you’ll have to live with it. Now standing on a thin metal doorframe turned sideways, looking down almost made me vomit. I was kinda high up now.
Looking up brought some satisfaction. There was a valve just above my head with the label “Plasma Distribution System” right above it. A godsend.
I reached with all my might, and grabbed hold of the valve. Slowly, I turned it, bit by bit, until an odd, buzzing sound was heard. I did it! What a turnabout!
After climbing down, I returned to Squiggles. I had to use my hands, but after a minute or two, I managed to tear open the Chainlion, and bit by bit, place it atop the conduit.
That night, I had a filling dinner that tasted like steak.
[Nine Earth Hours Later – 14y 32w 15d BV]
When I awoke, I noticed that Squiggles was on the other side of the room. It looks as thought he’d managed to get a computer console online thanks to my work with the plasma distribution system.
I lifted myself up, and out of curiosity asked him a question.
“What are you doing?” He seemed to jump right out of his skin and swivel around, eyes open wide.
“I’m trying to get someone to help us, the communications systems are intact.” I shrugged, and clamored to my feet. “Well, I’ll go out and explore.”
He didn’t seem to visibly respond other than his face returning to a neutral position. “Fine, go get killed by one of those six legged things, I could care less.”
Rude. I grabbed my pipe and headed out the door, down the hall, and out into the wild. The smell of fresh air was nice, but the fact that it was easily over a hundred degrees wasn’t.
Oh well, I’ll have to learn to live with it. Surviving this long on such a planet is an achievement anyway, I doubt many others could have done it.
No, I’m joking, I’m weak on Earth. It’s a MIRACLE I’ve lived this long.
I began my trek to Floyd’s Tomb, and began wading through the bushes until I finally arrived at the clearing from before. I crouched, and surveyed, hoping to find an animal.
What I didn’t expect was a loud, obnoxious, buzzing noise. I looked up, and saw that a small ship was approaching, and landed in the clearing.
Oh shit. OH SHIT. The Pirates! I guess they don’t know what kind of planet this is, because they were confident when the entrance to the ship popped open and a ramp slid down, making contact with the ground.
Suddenly, something weird tumbled out of the ship. It had silky red skin, stood maybe half a foot shorter than me, and had thin, stick-like arms. Its face was something like a dog with a shorter and wider snout. Perky ears, too.
“This is terrible. The gravity on this planet is far too high. Rek’zahlde, do you have the anti-tank rifle?” It called back into the ship. Out stepped what looked something like a giraffe–a blue one. It was shorter than an actual giraffe, sure, but beared a heavy resemblance. It had four legs and two arms portruding from the torso, which were holding one of those crazy laser rifles.
“Yes Boss, I have it.” It replied, now standing at its side. The red creature nodded, and waved its arms. “We heard that ship Jehnahglen shot down yesterday had a primate species on it. We find it, take it to the Dominion, claim the discovery, and we’ve got a lot of credit in our pockets. And how many times have I told you to call me by my name, you lumbering idiot?!”
The giraffe seemed ashamed by the red thing’s insult. “Sorry Penec’rie.” The red thing seemed to nod a little.
“Good. Get the rest of the team and fan out, I want it found. If it becomes a danger, kill it.” I was shocked, and stepped back, ready to run, when I found that I had stepped on what looked like a really tiny bunny, and instantly snapped its spine.
The crack sent the Pirates turning in my direction, and they all gaped.
“…or not.”